are you the angel in my life?

2007-01-14T13:55:00.000+08:00

UNDER CONSTRUCTION UNTILL IT IS HEALED..

2007-01-06T00:27:00.000+08:00

it's friday, third day of school reopen and i'm still working..
today is an emotional day.
my emotions were like roller coaster, up and down, up and down..
was happy to see Rika and everyone.
but which is 6jan, nao will be flying off to perth.
and as she left for perth, kana left too.
bon vogage nao(: i'll miss you! see you online k, as promised(:
oh ya thanks for the royce chocolate!
will try to blog later.

2006-12-26T00:12:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! (:
this year was a year of wonderful christmas(:
lots of gifts exchange! lots of surprises! lots of cakes and log cakes! lots of greetings and wishes! woohoo~ and today even got customer buy cake for us and we were like yes! wee~ so damn high can! haha(: and everyone was like christmas mood till like crazy hahahaa(:

i'm bankrupt now, after buying so many gifts from marks&spencer cause the things there are jus so irresistable! haha(: so actually i spent a bomb on christmas present this year, including those chocolates which cause me like ard 10 for each pax! i almost died.. but spending it on pple that are so nice to you are so worthy haha(: it's never a loss to spend gifts to express your appreciation to people that has been so nice to you.. so it's worth it of course! thanks all those who gave me a hug when i gave them their gifts, cause it was so damn sweet! haha(: esp to rika, thanks for the warming hugSSSS(: haha(:

was busy the whole week, preparing presents and of course partying(: drank quite an amount of champagne which was like woohoo~ and tasty(: at least i like champagne more than asahi beer! haha(: and we opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate nao's birthday.. i think i mentioned it.-and forced her to keep the cork as a memory! haha(: hope she still has it.. haha(: oh ya friday had a dinner-it was delicious! and we had lots of fun there(: lots of games and gathering and talking and chatting! ahaha(: was real enjoyable. but we took a real long time to locate the place.. anyway sat was supposed to meet the grp of zilianers out but however, well, things always goes the opposite way so like usual the whole thing was cancelled.. was kinda, erh.., ya la jus like tt lor. and i wasted like 2 hours doing gifts for the girls.. but..aiya forget it. but the gifts came into good use anyway- cause it kind of made my colleagues very happy for the day-and they din mind the fact that it was actually meant for others, and appreciated them lots! haha(: thanks lot people(: especially to N AND R! haha(: okay i shall stopped talking bout that matter.. just ******!

anyway today orchard was closed.. but me and R decided to try our bus at far east there-scotts rd actually. so we walked the whole orchard and enjoyed the x'mas atmosphere and talked for a long while. then we realised that our buses were still servicing and we were so happy! haha(: and i took the newest bus jus now. the seats are all white and all are like facing the side, as in not facing the front. and the seat was so damn cool.. iit is like one person one armed-chair and it is so cushioned! the back seats were the only seat facing front and it is actually like a sofa, all connected! i love the ride home so much and i copied down the bus no- SBS2696E, bus no. 132! the printing is nokia phone one. so cool! haha(: ok i have to bath now! merry x'mas to all once again! thank you those who made this christmas so enjoyable and memorable to me! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2006-12-24T01:38:00.000+08:00

hohoho just reach home yo(;
today i was the last to leave! haha(: cause there was a party and i stayed to clear up!
recieved lots of x'mas present today!
a big box of famous amos cookies from nao and a box of melty kisses from karenjie! ahaha(:
there are a few others that i am too lazy to mention! but everyone thanks for the presents! you'll receive mine on christmas day itself ok!
ok i shall go and have a nap! be back later to meet ***
oyasumi nasai(:

champagne! asahi! gambai!

2006-12-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

happy birthday nao!

haah(: having a little hangover(:
yesterday had a few drinks at the surprise party for nao(:
had champagne and asahi haha(: think that champagne was quite good(:
anyway yesterday we held a surprise party for nao!
she was so touched and she kept crying haha(: crybaby!
and i bought famous amos cookies for her! haha(:
and stupid kana keep bullying me! haha(:
anyway thanks to our good acting skills, nao really had a good surprise(:
the party ended quite early, cause everyone had to take the last train or bus back home haha(:
we ended ard 12 or left ard 12 la.. reached home bout 1am, smelling of alcohols and smokes.. haha(: but i'm not the one to smoke this time! haha(: it was tt stupid kana! haha(:

anyway yesterday a stupid customer, a westerner, ordered our cheapest wine, which is 9 bucks for a glass.. and he said it was disgusting.
halo la.. pple who knows how to drink jolly well know tt 9 bucks for a cup is too cheap for a top grade one or a higher ranger one can.. obviously it well be of lower range one wat.. he's so dumb and snobbish! and his stupid harsh attitude scared vivien la.. stupid him..

ok shall drop tt topic.
sigh have to go for training soon.
stupid table tennis! boring and crappish!
okok shall stop cursing! haha(:
off to serious business now! blog another time(:

welcome back fungi! (:

yeah i saw him again(: had a small chat with him before i was called to work! haha(:

2006-12-17T01:05:00.000+08:00

hoho jus reach home yo.. late today again(:
yest i worked till ard 1am and reached home at ard 2 am(:
i love it! the world was for once real quiet(:

oh i found myself a japanese brother yo..
i was serving him and his bunch of friends jus keep laughing when i walked there.
so in the end, i realise that they are saying that i looked alike! haha(:
and thereafter, he kept calling 'sister! sister!' whenever he needed help.. and i kept bursting out laughing hahaha(: his a real funny guy.. and after tt when he was leaving he told nao take good care of my sister (obviously in jap la) and tap my shoulders and smile wildly at me. haahaha he's real funny(:

monday is gonna be a big day(:
for us and for nao. hope she'll be happy!
she had her burfday party today, but smart her held it at a pub.. and me was like @#$@ cause i am shittily under 18! but anyway i alr had some drinks before so it's jus missing out on the atmosphere! ahhahah(: daijobudes! totaemokanushides!

that's bout all for now! i love night life(: haah(:
otsukare samadeshita!

2006-11-28T10:29:00.000+08:00

i love yifang(:
she makes me very happy(:
i am proud to be her friend(:
thanks for the post fungi!
it made my day!
you 'made someone happy' (:

2006-11-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

work work work and still work!
super tired.. everyday 6.3opm to 11pm at least.. sometimes work till 11.30 and i have to run to catch my last bus(:
Imagine me running along orchard road with no one on the streets.. while, at least not many(:
i love walking along the streets at night..
it feels so good to be able to be away from the society, from the family and from the practicality of money in this world(:
oh ya! i even pon training that day to work..
today, after training went to FUNGI's house to bath then TO WORK!
i MISS HER SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH(:
it's nice to see her(:
it's nice to talk to her(:
it's nice that she's always there for me(:
I LOVE YOU YIFANG! THANKS A MILLION! (:

2006-11-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

blogging now..
headache! serious one.. from morning till now! i'm dying!!! arh, save me.. please.. hahaha blah blah watever!

why 15 years of kinship, ok minus the 1 year i didn't live with you alright, cannot be more significant than your that few years of relationship.. i tried all i could to make yo happy- sometimes, it works but sometimes it doesnt. but i never seen you as happy as anytime when you are with him. is he really all that you want and care for? stop nagging me everyday bout all those stupid money-related shit.. i dun wan to hear all those junks!you think i am really living off you? why is it until now then i'm having my dinner? why is it that i am eating expired food almost everyday? is that call bringing me up? oh ya to you it is right? as long as i stay with you or so what related, i am. shit it.

2006-10-30T18:48:00.000+08:00

in memory of my friend "chimpo"

this song is dedicated to you.
i miss you.
i'm really sorry.

What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Was one of a kind,
A precious pearl

When I wanted to cryI couldn't cause
IWasn't allowed
Gomennasai for everything

Gomennasai, I know I let you down
Gomennasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain

When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself

Gomennasai for everything
Gomennasai, I know I let you down
Gomennasai till the end
I never needed a friend
like I do now

What I thought was a dream
An mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege

When I wanted to tell youI made a mistake
I walked away
Gomennasai, for everything
Gomennasai, Gomennasai,
I never needed a friend,
Like I do now

Gomennasai, I let you down
Gomennasai, Gomennasai,Gomennasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

2006-10-30T14:14:00.000+08:00

diarrhoea again...

2006-10-24T19:46:00.000+08:00

diarrhoea... boohoo

i will be there for you if you need me.
i know i am not your top priority.
but just want you to know that i can be there for you when you need just like you used to be the for me.
a hug for you.
that's wat you wanted..

2006-10-13T16:22:00.000+08:00

just one day is too long for me.
just one day is too hard for me to tolerate.
just one day is killing me.
living just one day is a battle of purpose of living
one day everything will come to an end.
the one day will arrive.
i believe

you'll know the reason why i left
let me leave

2006-10-12T22:38:00.000+08:00

你会懂我离开的理由

i know no one believes me.
and i din wan to believe too.
but it's all too much of a coincidence.

2006-10-11T12:59:00.000+08:00

i hope they at least trusted wat i said.
yest the incident really freaked me out.
everything jus seem too much of a coincidence.
i mean, i'm really scared. really.
this is the first time i really felt that scared.
i really dun wan to think too much but i couldnt.
its really too much.

i reached home to find no one at home.
i never felt that helpless.
i really needed someone to be with me.
i called her upteen times and she doesn't ans.
so i sat in front of the tv.
on it to the loudest to blast me off and stop me from thinking so much.
and i kept changing channels.
i din dare to look out of the window.
i was so afraid someone was to jump down again.
and i just sat in front of the tv till they came back, which was about 11.
meanwhile, my thoughts really ran wild.
and i sat in a corner where i felt safe.
i'm real scared.
and she can jus brush off wat i said and ask me to think that we will be rich so that it will happen.
fucking hell. i was damn confused and scared alr and she fuckingly can joke bout it.
shut your ass and stop teasing me.

everything really seems too much of a coincidence.
not jus this time. many many of such things happened before.
before i realised.
somebody help me.
i want to feel safe.

2006-10-06T12:03:00.000+08:00

yeah good day to come probably.
jus finhish laundry.. so tired.
oops i think i'm pig
haha(:

nice outin with zilianers yesterday
as usual they are always so self-entertaining(:

shall blog another day.
outing later maybe with some weirdos!
haha oops!

freya (fungi you remember this?)

updating

2006-09-16T20:34:00.000+08:00

i just finished feeding my sis papaya.. and i mean feeding.
lazy pig. and i wahsed everything as usua..
ok shall stop nagging.
down to updating!

ok act i only rmb a few days..

tue
so happy was told no table tennis trg
yeeah! and i was like whee~ hha

wed
shit day..
somehow*** i landed myself in KK Hospital
then afterthat i wanted to leave but the nurses dun allow me to go! but i also have no money la.. haha
then i was arguing with the nurse tt i was big enough to handle such things myself. i am 15 alr. but of course i lost.
so i have to call my mum to ask her to come.
then she din pick up her phone,
so i kept calling and calling.
finally she answered.
so i told her.
for dunno wat reason she was in orchard,
so she bo bian came down to get me out of KK.
i stoned in the hospital for like dunno how many hours.
i was very angry! i am alr 15 lor why still need parent's particular.
luckily my mum finally picked up her phone if not i have to stay in the hospital alr lor!
and they even group me under children! i was like wth!!
anyway, i only remembered arguing with the nurse until i got so tired.
then i turned to nagging to her about i was old enough in my mind.
haha

thur
my fungi was down with diarrhoea haha
but she's better now.

fri
b lim is funny(:

today
HSK was damn cheap-scap can? one hour for the compre part and i finished in 20 min, others like 14 min only.. then all of us when to sleep. and i even dreamt(: haha
nan hua pri was miniatured! everything was so small. the basin like aroung my lower thigh only! i felt like giant.
went home with evon today, while we took the same bus.
was nice and sweet(:
came home and when market for this week's stuff(:

sorry grace couldn't make it today.
my apologies.

fungi fungi.. how does a fungi has diarrhoae when it can make its own food? ahha(:
yanzi's new song demo is out! yeah enjoying now(:

you still haven made the first move. i still have to initiate first.
but if not for the inportant things like that, i wouldn't have.

and adding to the come and go list.
janet left.
thanks alot pple THANKS ALOT! my foot.
stop coming and going.
it makes my life harder.
i hate you guys.
stop leaving me alone.

2006-09-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

i seriously am finding it hard to talk to you alr. hope you see this and do sth. just maybe take the initiative to just talk to me. just try to have the initiative. i am tired of always being the one to take the initiative to talk to you. i am tired. real tired, esp when u just...

my dearest fungi,
take care(:

2006-09-06T18:10:00.000+08:00

i finally confirmed that i will be flying off tomoro. i only confirmed it yesterday! great.. up till now i haven pack my things yet. look my guitar lesson is 8.30 to 10.00. so i have to leace ard 7 later. then i'll be back ard 11. tomoro morning i have to leave at ard 9 morning.. great! so shitty man. i hate last min flying. be back i not too sure too. i am so dead(: woohoo~ hey where's my grave? hahaa(:

better be off packing. so great. yesterday i then confirmed i am flying, today i haven pack, tomoro monring i am flying. whee~ see me fly i 'm flying up the sky.. lalaalaalal

2006-08-31T22:44:00.000+08:00

watching kim sanshun now..
if only someone will be there like he is for her now..
if only i can be like her to express myself like she did.

verisimilitude.

2006-08-31T21:52:00.000+08:00

i just woke up.
and i seriously think i can't sleep later anymore.
oh no! this is bad..

i realise i am back to my old self..
hmm.. how do i say that..
talking lesser and lesser..
i only keep people entertained.
that's it.
reason being, let me think
not everyone wants to hear what you really wants to say.
i found this out.
people only like to listen to me as an entertainer.
ok maybe i should say poeple only wants to hear what their ears like.
ok maybe i should say it is hard to find one that is willing to stop and listen to the inner self talking.
and since, i have talked much much less on other things except things that cheer one up.
hohoho no personal attacks here. just realised this when other;s talked to me.
hmmm.. then i realise i am the one that stop and listen.
because being able to type this out is the conclusion of the talk i have with others' inner self talking.
and i seriously thank this people for talking to me with their inner self.
but i am not able to do the opposite.
i jus can't bring my self to talk with my inner self.
i learnt my lesson.
i think i can only talk to people with some background knowledge of me. it makes things easier.
but once again, not everyone is willing to hear your inner self out. not everyone can afford the time and effort to.
in this place i just shut myself out.
in that place i put on a smile.
shutting internally and externally.
thinking you'll be there to help.
smiling only externally.
thinking it will help others.
verisimilitude.

i din realise we were so close to losing him.
only when we went out to eat did i realised that.
he shocked me out when he could not move his hands to use a spoon to eat.
his hands couldn't move at all to hold on to a spoon.
and i was shocked to see her reaction. it was like as if it was nothing.
i am sorry. i am sorry i din make it to the hospital.
i am sorry i could not start a conversation with you.
i am sorry i was not there at period of time.
i am sorry for not being able to face up to you.
i am sorry i overlooked your condition.
i am sorry i was again not having the strength internally to step into that hospital(beacsue),
i am sorry i could not erase that part of my memory off as you wanted me to.
i am sorry for everything. it was not her fault.

seriously people just come and leave.
hong yi came back.
valine left.
cleo left.
yanghan left.
yang han's bro left for good.
liped left for good.
see?! how many came only and how many went(went away for good) in just a month.
thanks people thanks alot!
let's see who's next in this come, go, gone list.
hopefully no more gone.
it is ok to go but not gone.
it is hard to.. no more please.
too many in a year can cause more in a year.

once upon a time.

2006-08-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

i think i am seriously losing and drifting apart with her.
it jus seems like she is always so busy.
i can talk talk talk and she can jus walk away when others talk to her!
bwah! haha but nvm lor. has to accept la(:

i want to help huishan but i dunno how to.
she's depressed these days.
she asked me how to die fastest and effectively
and instead of talking to her.
i joined her in the thinking!
hahaha(: we started thinking which is the best way to die!
anywyay people i am not under depression yet so forget about me thinking of doing that(:

i was very touched by what fungi said one day.
it made me feel the necessasity for my existence.
it was very sweet as in i mean her speech.
she is the only person that walks to me anytime and allows me to talk.
she is the only one that approach to me to be my hearing ear.
i mean others want to hear, as in who dun wan to listen to pple and gossip or tell things around?
she is the only one that approach to hear and stop that stupid gossips.

i seems to be unsure of their points anymore.
yiting asked me to clear thingd out.
but if they like him ( as in it appears to me that they do now) my defence will only come to the point that he may think i am lying.
hmm second thoughts but this.

friday i saw li sheng jie! haha never thot he was that tall.
buti dun like him anyway so ya like nothing like tt jus walk pass him lor. haha
but i love the time we spent on friday. we and the sec fours playing and fooling around(:
and friday me and fungi went into boys' toilet to help cheong keming take his phone. it was a miracle it was still there. i finally knew how boys' toilets looked like! haha(:

thank you fungi! i love you! if you die i will feel the same as what you will feel!
huishan i'll try to help you but you have to help yourself too k(: cheer up by thinking of him(:
clara take care of your helath!
xinyue thanks for tagging i linked you alr. and ya i thinking my background is good for the bang bang bang game.

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang who died? you! haha(:

emotional..

2006-08-06T20:12:00.000+08:00

how am i supposed to feel when everyone is happy when i am not.
how am i supposed to smile when i am always bothered.
how am i supposed to listen to someone when no one wants to listen to me.
how am i supposed to move on after so much that have happened.
how am i supposed to face them when they are the ones that made me cry.
how am i supposed to face her when she has already change for the worst.
how am i supposed to complete my work when i have so many things going on.
how am i supposed to bluff them bout that.
how am i supposed to let them know what has happened to him.
how am i supposed to help them solve their conflict.
how am i supposed to help anyone when no one wants to help me.
how am i supposed to help anyone when i cannot even help myself.
how am i supposed to help anyone when i am having identity crisis.
how am i supposed to live on when i only look forward to every wednesday night, 8.30-10pm.
how am i supposed to be happy when so many people are dying and leaving out of the blue.
how am i supposed to pretend nothing happened at all and remain happy.
how am i supposed to be happy in front of everyone when i can never be happy always.

are there times when i can have some personal and private time of being myself- not having to be happy always. stop shooting things like "what happened to you? you are different from the wenhang i know that wa salways that happy" "why you today not high?!" "why you change to be so down? not happy anymore!"

what is the problem?! no one can be happy always! i have my emotions and when i am not that happy self that i must be in your eyes then fuck off. what is the problem? fuck your ass off if you cannot accept me when i am down. look at yourself into the mirror and tell me if you are always happy. bullshit. school sucks because of people like you guys.

how bout that. i am a clown with a frown. happy? i am an entertainer that does not find entertainment in myself.

save yourself

2006-08-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

i finally understood why i like badminton so much why i love guitar so much.
i knew there will be a reason.
badminton- for its active mind to stop me from thinking and imagining too much.
for its pain that holds me back in reality.
guitar- for its enchantment and allowing me to forget all things for a while.
i love it.
i love it when when i am alone, someone walks over to chat with me and crap with me. i love it when my life is packed with things.
i love it that tomoro is coming because of ***! kimizhu(:
i love it when i need not be tortured by her in school anymore! yeah! i finally sort of got rid of her(:

today was kiap btw L and Z confrontation.. boohoo): but i was like going to be torn apart by each of them and the atmosphere was real silent. and i jus sat and stared at my 'holy' shoes. hope they are fine but i think not la.
today was verisimilitude.

i am sorry for you.

2006-07-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

i am quite down these days.
many things happened. not jus me but other people too.
someone left this world again.
another good person had left again.
i am not joking.
how would i ever joke on someone's life?!
how could i and i will never.
how come i only get to know it today?
why why din you tell me about it?
why go through it all by yourself?
why do you want me to be the last to know?
i even missed the whole ceremony..
how could you?

yifang be strong.

yanghan you have to be stronger. he would want you to be strong and move on. he would want you to do so. take care. seventeens years of joy he brought you will never come to a waste. take care of yourself in australia.

be sensitive

2006-07-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

page 120 of social textbook figure 17 shows a UN relief worker attending to a boy whose country has been hit by famine and starvation. i think this oic has more to say just than the small desciption. do you realise that the UN worker's left hand is bandaged? despite his injury, he still carried that boy. and that boy obviously was reliant on him. the UN worker is so sweet can? he still carried the boy to sleep desptie his hurt hand. and the boy obviously had grown feelings for him. to sleep in the UN worker, under his care, the boy must have trusted him and grown more reliant on th UN worker. i love this pic(: it sure has much more to say(:

i dun wan to blog much thing else.

you are one of them in the previous entry. do you realise?

the AA and AS one, shut up and stop typing shit stuff.

masndiwdgyewantmkidetoqazxstalkpoiuytohnjolsomeoneqdcazthatywedsishjiolwillingmnuyttowferhhearnbuytmeasdfgoutmnumo):

you are one of them

2006-07-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

to mr daniel chow. can you please stop staring at me! you want to talk, want to know wat then tell me lah! stop staring at me! what is the problem?! dont think things jus your way can?! find out the truth before you start maligning people and start staring at them! dun make me declare war! i have my plans. you like one-to-one talk is it?! you like it alot is it?! you want to know all my things is it?! fine! you want one-to-one talk then let's talk la! since you are always so busy, you decide the date. cause you are very busy with people one mah, right?! if you have the guts, tag the date and time here in my blog! you want to talk then lets spit ot out lor. isn't that wat you like, getting heavily involved in everybody's life.?!

super angry la. wat is his problem? acting like one in front of some and acting like another in front of other people. totally destroy my passion for physics. i should thank him for destroying it isn't it. watever! open your blinded eyes and look and see for yourself la! you are looking things all the other way round! stop your damn stares! i have had enough. shit.

to the other person, stop being AA and AS. you only make yourself approachable when you are yourself. so dun act like anyone. you should know that. you are different when you try to act like somebody and this propel me away from you further more. stop it. just stop it.

some people just act differently at different occasions, in front of different people and when online. some people seems friendly and very caring online, but they dao you or totally ignore you when in school. these people make the victim feels left out and taken for granted for. some people when passing msg through the person he likes, send different things from wat he types. the person who receives the msg from the person find it hypocritical and very fake. some poeple treat one very well outside school but treat the victim like a shit when in school. this makes the victim feel betrayed! do you realise you are one of them?

bad day

2006-07-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

if you are going to go on like that! by all means! i tried my best. i give up! no comments.

all things are bad today. from starting of school all the way to after school. the only thing happy today is that i got a fresh peach! and i took photos with my dear peach. my first fresh peach in my life. i know what i want alr! peaches! haha(: the more the merrier! yummy!

i really wish to talk to someone
i really wish to cry out.
anyone? please.
i feel unwanted at times..
i feel scared all the times.
but everyone is too busy.
boohoo.

2006-07-15T21:19:00.000+08:00

sometimes, it is nice to talk to somebody who you dun always hang around with and talk. i really miss it. cause the person is not tt close to you and you can talk everything since the person may or may not understand. but anyway if the person does, who cares? haha(: the next person who i dunno well who talk to me, for me to explore their character, i will love the person! i mean it hahaha(: hahah(:

friday
well me and ziqin talked for real long and i mean real long! we say mrs foo walked past for like 6 times, mr ng like 2 times, mr chee like 4 times and mrs b lim for 5 times, until when mrs b lim was going home, she asked me to go home and study! hahaah(: i think she is very funny naturally. she is a nice person. and she is different in front of school and in front of her class. haha(: anw, ziqin kept on sighing.. no reason jus keeps on. and sth very malu happened! ziqin actually waved to a person she dunno and assumed her to be her junior! and the person actually waved back at her whith tt kind of ' huh? i know you meh' look. =.=
we burst out laughing! haha(: then i played with the pocky box until it was like woah!
anw i have to thank ziqin for accompanying me until so late. thanks ginna(:

everybody is experiencing knee pain and seeking my advice! hello?! am i that famous for my totally spoil knees?! hahah(: the prob is, i dun really can cure and help myself la.. then how i helped you guys? haha(: but anyway i do know some simple temp cure! so ya. like tt lor(: hehe(:

many people around me are facing prob and indirectly giving me some worries. but i think it is ok(: at least there are some use of me as a person who listens wholeheartedly(: but i realise there are little pple to do the vice versa when well ya.. no personal attacks! jus some remarks from everything(: well pple feel bad and i have nothing to help. everybody jus say it is ok when i apologise for not being of help. they all say,"thanks for hearing" that's sweet. i mean that is really sweet(: and they apologise when i apologise that they could help me either(: i think ya, i'll love the person who will be of help. i will be satisfied jus for a listening ear when i need to vomit things out. but it is a fact that everyone is always busy with their own stuff. again no personal attacks(hmm i think pple these days are getting more sensitive.. is it good or bad? nvm(: ) i mean everyone has their own thing to fret over so no sweats!

according to ms grace: AS is better than AA! really? i think the AS part only helped me to rhyme my sentence! haha(:

it was a miracle you initiated a chat(: cause the min i was online, you said halo! hahah(: and i was happy! real happy!(: cause you very very very seldom did that! thanks!

thanks! i love you ms green! haaha(:

thanks for everything! i love yo as much too! haha(: be calm. i think you two can tide it over together! i mean i think you two are very very very sweet! sorry that i could not give much advice but my best wishes to you guys!

2006-07-13T19:26:00.000+08:00

was online to see if anyone was available to help me with physics.. but hmm.. no one was! the 202 contacts were practically 0! haha nvm(:

a few more hours to her departure. i'll miss her. i really will(: hope she really enjoy herself! yeah!(:

i think things are improving btw me and her.
but others in sch life are, well not so smooth though.
but it is ok. it is always better to have a better family life than ever! yeah! hope she'll always be happy and never to mention money anymore! cause everything will then return back to the past! haha:)

angry

2006-07-12T20:37:00.000+08:00

i am angry! rahh!

recaps

2006-07-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

have not been blogging here for long huh?! ok sorry(:

monday:
somebody vandalised my worksheet!
he so shitty can? mus remind him how many times that my dear friend s.y. cannot bend.. bad memories can.. hehe(: like mine very good like that haha(:
i got good news tat training are cancelled until 22 hohoho! best days ever man! haha(:

well, mood swings and very tired.
i left home on sunday midnight at 12.30am and reached home like 5.00am! then i packed and went to school straight away! i was so tired. but i din fall asleep at all! haha(: call me god! oops! sorry mavis hee. but dun get into this because of tht guy. not tat worth anyway right? when his her stepped out to say she and him nv separated at all. well best wishes.

zidane takes my life away! his so charismatic! no matter wat, i think is tt stupid italian's fault. nice work man zidane. 10:) he pinched zidane and insulted pple lor how can? if it really is he insulted his wife as a prostitute or mum! i support you zidane! henry is too ambitious. hmm enough.

tuesday:
which is today. hahaha:)
nothing much except that i'm dumb!
i act can forgot bout my legs(knee-supports).
i feel like a handicapped without them.

then the trip home with fungi was crazy.
i'm abc, fungi is ibc and grace is def!
hhaha(: slowly unds..
then we went to this coffee shop and we were walking walking..
then suddenly this uncle saw me and like smile at me or sth with some weird weird noise!
me and fungi was like huh?!
then we laughed it off.

sad tt he wasn't there.
but impossible anw(:

end of report.

pls dun let me know tt you bluffed me.
pls dun.
i'll be utterly disappointed.
was there a need to?
mus you guard against me?
mus you hurt me this way?
i hope you keep your promise to the dancers.
i'll be happier this way.

everyone goes for confrontations.
why? does it really works on everyone?

you asked me to confront tt person but hmm guess not. i'll tolerate a while more(: it's a game or tolerance and endurance between us.

you asked me to approach person no. 1 to see if wat i doubted was true. truth is i dun dare. i she really did do wat i suspect, i'll be really sad. and i mean really sad. i may be a fool but i dun take friendships, esp quite close one, easily. you unds? i dun wan to know that she has changed and dun wan to know that she bluffed me.
you asked me to approach person no.2. ya i admit that the person is hurting me gradually but i think tt person also very ptitful tt she changed till like tt. she's acting more attention seeking and blogging weird things and mixing with diff grps of pple. but i think she doesn't wan it want either. she's jus behaving rather differently hasn't she? even pple who dun really unds her can say so, while tt's not my own opinion eiither. i'll go find you when i can't tolerate no longer. anw i think wat you suggested dun work on her at all. tt's jus tt.

my apologies to you. was kind of busy. talk to me and i'll update you more can? really miss talking to you. and staying back and talking with no disturbance. it's the only chance you and i can talk out hearts out and you basically knows most of my prob haha although we dun show to be that close:) but i think we are more or less better than normal friends! open up to me more often since you are kinda of closed up before others. possibly we'll be better than now, maybe as close as you and him.. hohoho(:

reasons for me not liking to celebrate my b'dae
i tend to think lots on my b'dae.
as in reason why, me jinxy and things like tt but i think ms green and ms orange have more or less helped me pass this.
but serious speaking i really hope for a full family photo. which is totally impossible. i know it but it's ok.
pple used to ask whether i'm sad when they ended up like tt.
while i wun say i'm not but yes.

just some emotions..

dun tell me the path in front is blocked.
i rather believe my future is endless.
just let the raindrops hit me.
let it washed all the memories away.
i had cried till my tears vanished.
my heart is pumping tears around.
before the night ends, please don't force open my eyes.
i dun wan the images of memories stay in my mind.
i can no longer differentiate the night from the day.
the sky is always dark.
before i ever feel warm, i am always covered in snow.
before my soul dies please leave some air to breathe for me to stay awhile,
till the day i can open my eyes and forget everything.

stay awhile.

2006-07-06T19:55:00.000+08:00

thank you everyone!

fungi: thanks for the 'supposed to be success' cake you baked for me(: thanks for the pizza treat just now! delicious.. it's been years since i last ate haha so thanks alot! and i also gave you one of my 'first' huh.. haha be honoured! thanks for the malteses although it was totally invaded in a matter of second and when i took back i was like woah so light arh?! haha(: thanks for always been there and listening to me whole-heartedly. i love you lots! muacks!(:

keming: my dear jie mei! haha(: thanks for being the first one to sms me on the dot! haha(: and really thanks for listening me talk and the opinions after school.. you know what happened, am i being silly? hmm.. thanks bobo! love you as a jie mei forever! must make it clear if not later someone come chase after me! oops! did i say sth wrong?! ahahhaa(:

xingxian: boo! thanks for everything! i love you(: and and stop jian fei ing! you are so not fat la!

grace: thanks for the letter! that was sweet! haha(: but pls note the quality of your letter can? last time gao zhi now like better but theres room for improvement! haha(: anyway my 3 months older ginna! thanks for everything! august right?! haha i look forward like you do! woohoo~ i'm going to see her again! (: yeah!

ziqin: ginna! thanks for smsing to so many phones(: it's you right? haiya anyway i forgot got too many ppl ethen i forgot who sent like to all my phones.. haha(: thanks! time for you to grow up liao ginna. did you try the folding arms thing? worth trying hahah! oh no i think she is going to kill me for blogging this! haha(:

baby: sotong liting! hahaa(: sms me on wrong day somemore.. haha(: tahnks for the hug and hearing me talk. maybe you are right.. but you understand it too(: thnaks lot! see you on sat! slacky vice chair for tt! haha(:

ros: thanks for the first hug in the morning! that was sweet!(: thanks(: and thanks for keep on singing birthday song for me whenever you see me! haha(: appreciate it(:

jolyn: thanks for the many smses(: i'll miss you(:

hongyi: thanks for the card from boston! an oversea card.. it cost you like 1.50 sing dollar right? haha(: thanks alot! the card was very cute too(: thanks for remembering my birthday even if you are in the boston! muacks yoyo! heheh(:

jiat ying: thanks for the first few person to wish me happy birthday! haha(: and thanks for listening to me talk just now.. you know i know you know i know. jus let it be right.. sigh thanks anyway

evon: thanks for everything! for bringing the cake to school.. biut bad luck on you huh?! haha(: thanks for everything once again!

huishan: my damdamdidididi girl(: thanks for the choice of cake! don't complain la.. you councillor mah.. choir chair somemore.. today was jus so not luck la! things will be better(: john woah! haha(: jie di lian is while, not bad la.. hahah(: i love you! muacks!

zilianers: thanks for everything! (: appreciate your accompanyment all day long(: stay crazy and zi high k(: sia gias!(: hhahaha

to the 16: evon, huishan, ros, jiatying, vivian, andrea, liying, weiling, daphne, liyan, chenyu, clara, xinyue, jinghui, weiqi and whoever i missed out for the cake and pencil case! haha(: thnaks alot i really loved it! thanks for making today a wonderful birthday! haha muacks!

to reby: ok dunno wat to say. thanks(: i made my wish, whether it will come true, it's ok(: i hope you will be happy! although you never knew what his up too, same as me, jus be happy! remember you are always the nice reby i knew in sec 2. things can change but real personality can't.

to hz: thanks for everything!

xu: thanks for the choco!

to her: thnaks so much for forgetting my birthday! fifteen years of accompanyment is not even worth the remembrance and less to say the able to compare to an hour of his accompanyment right? watever la! anyway still have to thank you! you are still fun when you are nice! (:

to bastard: thanks for all the staring during your lessons today! yous eyes tired?! need eyedrops? i got leh.. need my help not? bleh! :P thanks for spoiling my day with all your stares! good try man! a miracle i din sleep through today! all thanks to jy who kept asking me to ask her.. then she was like ya this one plus this one lor.. anyhow point! hahaha(: kept me entertained!

i dont know how to help you girl.
you think it through carefully.
i dun wan you to..
i really love you. really do.
i am really scared of you...
i am sad for your departure
but happy for youif you want me to be and if you will be.
i used to take bus with you
i used to talk to you
i used to confide to you.
i used to see you smile frequently
i used to..
i'll adapt to it if you really want to.
but you have to promise to stay firm
dont drop any further
i won't be there to pull you up anymore
you should have told me after today,
then i won be so affected.
dun ans me that way,
it really hurts. it really does
why has things turned this way..

thansk for coming up after i called you(:
you better patch things up with me after you ndp(:
the thing you mentioned in the letter,
it's ok! you can take your time to unds me better(:
but that's quite redundant act, so dun need la!

my apologies

2006-07-03T17:01:00.000+08:00

HAPPY B'DAE ROSSELLINI! HUGS!

as promised, i got it all prepared for you(:

i am busy at the moment will blog later(:

hz, i am sorry for the scare.
my apologies(:
i know you will be reading(:

to whoever knows wat happened.
i'm fine now, better.
back home alr.
jus still tired.

2006-07-01T17:56:00.000+08:00

asdngyouknajgthinkbegadyouplknmareqwwbnpopularyhnbginmnbvcouryhnjkclassmhvdxbvbutqwfghyouwbrdkareijnbgnotlkjhgblah

adgjkyoumkhgfthinkwdvbkyoupnrcahaveytgmlnotqwghlhurtackmnmetdnpibutqdnycyoutyzxmhaveqlkab

pain! haha(:

2006-06-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

terrence is so funny la!
he and fungi keep waiting for each other to say the same word together so that they can jinx each other! =_=! hahaha(:
then fungi is kinda small size huh! haha(:
terrence started pushing here then she will push me..
we started pushing the bang butt thing down..
then later terrence bang fungi's head with his shoulder and fungi like hiit me in the shoulder! haha(: so it is shoulder of terrence to head of fungi to shoulder of me!
can you imagine like fungi's head is like at our shoulders!
hahaha(: it was super funny! heehee(:

today a new eng teacher.. then she wanted us to write a poem on self-intro.. then must write wat you enjoyed, feared, needed.. blah blah blah.
so i started being funny and wrote: i need money! ahaha(:
it is like so lame lor.. writing a poem tt doesn't rhyme a little!
then she kept repeating what she says! i was like erh hello miss?! you repeated for many times alr hor? rmb? haah(:

anyway, everything is going to happen! yeah! wed! wed! wed! look forward!
but kind of late huh.. but i think it will be exciting!

to w***: thanks for the Singapore Sling.. it like so dom lor.. next time hor, pls add more pineapple juice in for me hor! Singapore Sling is like 17.5% alc! and you gave me sooooo little p. juice! so kiam! haha(: but thanks anyway for risking it! heehee(: i'll rmb this exp.

to y*****: pls get well soon! who told you working day and night for 4 days were easy! haha(: see now collapse alr la! haha(: get well soon and come back.. i can't stand shui lian anymore! she is like having such a hard time.. save her quick.. i'm getting tired of her! haah sorry s.l!

to the person screaming and scolding until i can hear you from under the block when i passed by, i HEARD YOU! haha(: iwill rmb to do things to the end and not stop halfway.. i'll remind your child too! i heard it from downstairs alr.. so ya I WILL RMB! haha(: i think hor you can join competition on scolding the louderst alr! i heard you from downstairs la.. then everyone walking past were all like looking up?! you really TAUGHT US ALL A LESSON! HAHA(: YOU'RE FAMOUS!

elvydasei(:

i love fungi!(: a word of encouragement is..

2006-06-26T22:05:00.000+08:00

too much misunderstanding.
too much of everything.
i am tired to explain anymore.. haha lazy(:
anyone who need explanations from me approach me.

i think my workload is going to increase if i really take up it and my wednesday will be gone! arh!!! 8.30 to 10pm leh.. second consideration! thanks fungi for the advice!(:

to the person in love with green(: (ok many of you guys are but the person will know it!)
it is good to have someone who you love and someone who loves you! dun let it tide down so easily(: haha the day i saw you guys walking oops! anyway it was quite a nice scene.. not the people in front but the people at the back.. ahem* you know what i mean huh?! hahaa(: the person in front also like helping you arh.. i can see that(: good luck! mood swings come and go.. so will yours! haahaa(:

2530 de xing fu: thanks for everything haha(:
dr. jiang: thanks for tt stupid diagnosis lor!
and tt dr.~ : hoho you are so cute! yeah! haha(:
meiqin: you so mean arh..
laurier: thank you lor.. sorry mum i'm taking a bath! you like shhit la..
peter: good luck.. but i think you hopeless alr.. sicko.. haha(:

continuation(:

2006-06-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

i think i got good neighbours!
i got another new guitar.. given to me by my neighbour!
YEAH! NEW GUITAR! (:
she also give me lots of chocolate.. she dun like chocolate.. how can that be?
why will anyone not like chocolate?!
i'm totally stunned! haha(:
ok she gave chocolate that contains REMY MARTIN! wohoo! delicious! aha(:
she also gave me Lindtt's chocolate bar that is like 70% COCOA! wohoo! another round of super pure dark chocolate.. you know it is hard to find like 70% cocoa in singapore. and it will be super ex! ahah (: i feel so lucky!
she also gave me ROYCE' dark choco.. hohoho i feel so spoilt! haha(:

tt's all for now.. update later(:

happy(:

2006-06-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

yeah! (: everything is going so nicely(:
but looks like someone isn't happy:( mere guesture cause i read her entries..
things i want to do:
- to get into MOS! haha big thing isn't it! ok for those people who dunno the meaning of MOS! it is Ministry of Sound, not mos burger.. ahah the person tt thot is mos burger is so funny. shan't mention her name.. i'll get scolded. MOS will be such an amazing place. exciting! anyone who know how to hun4 in tell me k(:

that's all for the time been.. be back soon! yeah(: happy!

finally

2006-06-20T19:37:00.000+08:00

yeah finally blogging! haha(:
i realise i'm not so law abding afterall..
hmm naughty me(: i broke lots of law.haha(:
listed below are some:

1. played pool despite being underage (lots of times!(:haha!)
2. watched nc16
3. watched m18 (frightening experience)
4. went to Barcelona! (super fun experience! haha(: the place is very nice)
5. in Barcelona, drank liquor!
6. entered zouk! (officially allowed! ahah jealous?!!)
7. drank beer! (hohoho luckily got no beer belly! haha)
8. eat and drink on bus!
9. eat and drink on mrt!
10. downloaded songs. (quite common isn's it?)
11. downloaded movies! (nice movies!)
12. sneaked into places to pool! hohoho! (pple who are smart will know where got!)
13. returned home much later than 11.30pm (stupid law!)
14. faked my age to buy painkillers (borrowed someone's i/c haha(:)
15. much much more.. but shalln't type anymore or else the list will go on none stop and more exciting! haha(:

i have songs not just for nothing.
it represents my real feelings.
listen to the lyrics..
hug me when i'm sad..
i'll feel better.
understand?

2006-06-12T13:12:00.000+08:00

Hello . . . Good-Bye, Daddy

By Victoria Robinson

The plane's engines groaned in defiance as it tried to escape the gravity that was holding it to the earth. Once free, it settled into a gentle hum that was almost a comfort to hear. I hated flying because it scared me so. It was a fear of not being in control of my life. Someone else had the helm, and I was just a bystander.

But today was different. It was a very special thing that made me hop on a plane and fly to California. I was going to see my father. As I watched the clouds beneath me protect the earth in a blanket of pristine white, my thoughts drifted back to my childhood when I was seven. "Victoria," Granny called from the front door. "There's mail for you." My heart almost stopped with excitement. I had never gotten mail!

I ran as fast as I could and almost ran right into Granny. "Slow down," Granny said with a smile. To my surprise there was a package, not just a letter, but a package! All for me! I sat down on the couch and ripped the brown paper wrapping as fast as l could. I didn't even know who it was from, but it didn't matter. It was something for me and me alone!

The tissue paper rattled as I threw each piece to the floor, and when I had the last piece almost off, I saw it. Oh, my eyes could not believe it! A beautiful red jumper with lace ties on the side and a white blouse with puffy sleeves. I screamed and stood up and something dropped to the floor. I stopped and looked down at my shoe. It was something shining and round. A silver dollar laid at my feet. "Oh Granny . . . look, Granny, look, a silver dollar." I picked it up and felt the cold metal in my hand. It almost covered my entire palm!

I caught Granny staring at me, arms folded and her head shaking back and forth with amusement. Finally, she spoke, "That's from your daddy. He sent you a birthday present," she stated flatly. "Really, Granny? Really! This is from my daddy?"

I had not seen my father since I was eighteen months old, and I didn't really remember him at all. But I had my fantasy of him that I had dreamed up in my head. A white knight on a beautiful horse and he always, always called me Princess.

And I would let no one talk badly about my father, because he was The Prince I had manufactured in my own little world and I loved him more than anything in life. After all, he was always close because I carried his picture with me and we had grand conversations. The plane rocked as we hit turbulence and the seat belt sign came on. I fastened my seat belt and was hurled back into reality. The flight attendant touched my shoulder and I jumped, which frightened us both, and we exchanged a strained laugh. "May I get you anything?" she asked with a smile.

"No, no thank you," I managed with a slight bit of embarrassment.

"Thirty minutes and we'll be landing," she said and walked away.

I closed my eyes and thought, Thirty minutes and I'll be seeing my father. After twenty-five years, I was going to actually meet the man I called Daddy. I had never in my life wanted to see someone as much as I wanted to see and know him. I loved him even if I had not seen him. He was my father.

I stepped off the plane and the sun was warm on my face. I took a deep breath and went to catch a taxi to finally meet my father face-to-face.

I opened the door to the church and stood there for what seemed like an eternity. The red carpet under my feet, I thought, How beautiful. I walked to the front of the church and the small talk around me stopped, and there was silence that filled the entire room.

"Daddy? Hi, Daddy, it's your little girl, Victoria." I touched the casket where my father lay and felt the cold metal in the palm of my hand. I fought the emotions that were so near the surface. I just wanted to tell you I loved you and have missed you so much. I reached to touch his hair and the face I would never forget.

"Daddy, I brought something to give you. Do you remember my birthday? Oh, you made me so happy that day." My voice cracked and I choked back the tears that I knew were coming.

"I've kept this all these years, but I want you to have it now."

I placed the silver dollar under his hands. It's okay, Daddy, I had enough love for both of us.

"I guess this is hello and good-bye, Daddy. I just wish I could have felt your arms around me and heard you call me Princess just one time."

I knew I was falling apart at that moment, as someone touched my shoulder and asked, "Are you Victoria? You're Harold's daughter, right?"

I fought back the tears and answered, "Yes."

The man hugged me and said, "I have known you all your life, although I never met you. Your father spoke of you often with such pride. He carried a picture of you around in his pocket and referred to you as his little Princess."

silenced and shutting myself again

2006-05-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday.
called yifang and cried terribly.
it was sudden
she was nice.
she's always the only one contactable when i really broke down..
maybe because we are the only ones left alone and we really tell and listen to each other with all our hearts.
we really give our hearts to those people.
we both cried hard yesterday.

bon vogage to grace.
cannot sms her anymore.
hope she understand
maybe she will not.
but yifang will.

maybe it is best for us like that..
don't think i dun treaure this friendship.
i really do.
but it is better for you this way..
seeing you getting angry because of his dumb acts..
it's all because of me tt's why..
i'll treasure what was left..
hope you heard the voice mail- today was the dateline for me.

angry then disappointed..

2006-05-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

i was angry at first..
for all the things he had done.
I AM NOT A BAD INFLUENCE!
so unfair. i NEVER did anything bad to influence them la..
AND FUNGI IS NOT A BAD INFLUENCE.

this is the first time a teacher really lost my respect totally.
in the past years, no matter how boring or bias the teachers are, i make it a point not to sleep in any teacher's lessons. to me, sleeping in classes is very disrespectful to the teachers and i will never do tt to teachers that i respect.
i also make it a point to be punctual for all lessons.
today, this teacher lost all my respect. i was late for his class and almost fell asleep in his class. i was furious for the stupid things he had done. he just lost my respect. even mr. lee and ms. phoon have my respect and i never once fell asleep in their class.

sigh i really don't know what to say about this teacher. my word of advice- don't cross the line. we should all keep a distance. i am like seeing a ghost la. once i see him i will flee for my life! his so.. i have no comments.

i think i cannot help him now. so disappointed that he become like that.. or at least i thought h would treat them better.. but guess i was wrong about him. he now tiao4 jing4 huang2 he2 ye3 xi3 bu4 qing1 le.. best of luck..

KNNC! founder??? who???

2006-05-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

23 may 2006
by order of grace teo i am blogging this real big!

today is...... the
establishment of KNNC .

er.. by the way who is the founder huh? haha(:

members of KNNC hates CFC cause it is harmful!
haha(: don't we love the earth and worry for its health! lol..(:

by order of ...

will he ever understand..

2006-05-22T22:09:00.000+08:00

today saw how weird the atmosphere was when they were with him.
i think he should understand why we/they are doing this to him.
it's about keeping a distance as extracted from ***** ***.
i agree with it.
we should keep a distance between an elderly and the younger ones.
if he don't keeps trying to push over this line.
maybe things will not have change till like this.

things may be like as good as we are with mr cheng.
the wanton man(: haha. only few of us understand this wanton man thing(:
haha but anyway, back to serious matter..
didn't expect things to turn out like this either.
maybe if he stop stepping over the line between all our relationship, we wil be having a better time like we did before.
long long before..

hope one day, he can come to understand what we(*maybe only me and her and her.. haha(:*) are doing.
maybe we can be like how we are with mr. cheng now, like always(:
funny and crappish..

ok above are just my own personal opinion(:
no offence(:

a dwarf hugging a tall tree(:

2006-05-21T13:07:00.000+08:00

back on fri.
i was finding mdm surin.
as usual she's always looking so busy and blur..
so she talk talk talk finish she turned back
then she clashed into mr. chow..
oh my god.
the scene is like a dwarf hugging a tall tree..
hahaha i was like am chio ing..
should have taken the pic down..
then she is like really hugging mr. chow la.
real funny man(:
almost burst. she's always so blur..

ok wrote this just to cheer some people up.

fulstop.

freya(: -fuleyya

bonkers+crazy+exhausted+disappointed

2006-05-19T21:29:00.000+08:00

today is a special day.
sth meaningful and memorable was supposed to happen to make us remember today.
but nothing happened.
she was disappointed, so me too.
to my plant:cheer up. at least i remember wat day today is! i'll remeber today with you:)

today i went bonkers.
i got very distracted today.
was not even listening to b. lim's class.
oh my god you know how serious tt is?
i respected her the most and yet i din listen to her.
really went crazy.
i don't know what has gone wrong. somebody bother to help me?
i have been in sleep-walking mode for as long as i know..

today i went crazy and bonkers.
after school was a mess.
went to find mdm suron, mr seow, mrs foo and mr chow.
to get our normal class tests papers for shuyi.
i went crazy.
i forgot whether i collected which papers or not and which subjects got tests which does not.
super blur.
and the teachers are not helpful except MRS FOO.:)
THANKS MRS FOO FOR HER HELP.
REALLY APPRECIATED IT.
then i find finish this teacher and later i left.
then i forgot to ask for other ws or test papers.
and i went to find the tachers again.
in and out in and out i went to the staff room.
i totally went bonkers!
collecting here and there.
jumping from one teacher and subject to another.
by the time i settled everything.
was 4.30pm can!
was totally mentally exhausted by the end of it.
plus yesterday 2 ambulances.
i totally lost control.
went to toilet and sat there alone for 10 min.
to recollect myself and to stop all those imagination.

today i was totally exhausted.
mentally drained.
yeaterday-2 ambulances.
i ran home.
i collapsed.
i don't know what to do anymore to help myself.

today-loads of work.
uncooperative teachers-esp form and co-form.
collection of ws for shuyi.
settling the unstable emotions of friends.
talking to *erhem*. she's sad.
she's hurt. so am i. so we talked.
i controlled me emotions to not add to her sorrows.
she's a nice person but she's like me.
loving someone who will never regconise us.

shall stop here.

2006-05-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

okok grace orders me to update.
hmm actually got nth to blog. actually not nothing to blog on.. have alot but not too convenient on this blog but will blog on the other one and also i dunno where to start from. haha nvm:)

ok it's kind of tiring blogging there then have to blog here. haha nvm.
actually very tiring. haha but nvm.

and lim zi qin laughed at this blog! you ginna tt think u are maturing i set up just for u then u treat it like tt! haha:)

aiya dunno wat to blog on already. sick and tired.
slacking away!

I LOVE BILL CROMPTON!

2006-05-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

deleted sth. too personal.
i love Bill. his life, his eveything, his blood esp. but his fictional. why?

he bought a new car.
no comments.
he turned when he saw me.
damn coward.

2006-05-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

On the quiet street in the city
A little old man walked alone
Shuffing through the autumn afternoon
And the autumn leaves reminded him
Another summer's come and gone
He had a long long midnight ahead waiting for June

Then among the leaves near an orphan's home A
piece of paper caught his eyes
And he stood to pick it up with trembling hands
And as he read the childish writing
The old man began to cry
Cause the words burned inside him like a brand

Whoever finds this , I love you
Whoever finds this , I need you
I even got no one to talk to
So , whoever finds this , I love you

Well , the old man's eyes searched the orphan's home
And came to rest upon a child
With her nose pressed up against the window pane
And the old man knew he'd found a friend at last
So he waved at her and smiled
And they both knew they'd spend the winter
Laughing at the rain

And they did spend the winter laughing at the rain
Talking through the fence
Exchanging little gifts they've made for each other.
The old man wold carve toys
And the little girl would draw pictures fo beautiful ladies
And they laughed a lot.

But then one day, on the first of June
The lttle girl ran to the fence the old man wasn't there.
And , somehow she knew he was never coming beck.
So she went back to her lttle room , took a crayon and wrote

2006-05-12T10:01:00.000+08:00

ok i super sian to change my temp. last time i did was millions of yrs ago and i didn't change other my blog temp till now.. still love my other blog's temp.. hmm but nvm.. anyway the main reason for the setup of this blog is for my plant-fungi and for the GINNA THAT THINKS SHE IS GROWING UP AND MATURING! haha:) was chatting with them and i stupidly leak out bout my other blog.. so ya promised to set up one for them. i didn't want to disturb the frequency and stuffs in my initial blog so decided to set up one for them. so PPLE WHO HAS MY OTHER'S BLOG ADDRESS PLS APPRECIATE IT OK!!! haha:)

oh ya tt day was on the bus alone and i found my motive and wish for this year! cause my other wishes are jus never able to fulfil although i think they are so easy for pple to fulfil them. really wanted those stuffs i wished for but sigh my money are always come-and-go status.. nvm.. my wish is to
**to have a ride around this country without any stopping on any vehicle!
was on the bus and enjoyed a 10 min ride without any stoppping and i got real happy dunno why but looking out and seeing everything jus soothen me..

went out with grace tt day. silly woman thot my b'dae was 30th may!!! haha sotong! told you mine was february 30th.. haha nvm:) nice day out but shalln't comment wat we had and did all day..

then the next day fungi came my house like at 5pm and went home like at 9.30pm.. we created such a crazy atmosphere in my house.. haha but was very funny:) no one was home so jus the two of us and we were watching some quite sick show after watching another one. and the show was quite sick and funny.. heehee and the se4 lang2 thing kept us entertained:)

she's been emotional these days.. don't know wat happened but she and my sis is havinga cold fight now. everything is jus conveyed through me to the other party.. not again.. why am i always sandwiched betweeen rivalries.. nvm.. anyway another month again and i have to worry worry about the monthly stuff again.. nvm.. don't bother if you don't understand.. i jus wan to vent it out..

okay depressed now.. shall stop
fulstop.

2006-05-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

sorry just testing here.